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10 Notes

The Ph.D. Problem


Illustration by Stephen Anderson.

Louis Menand writes:

That it takes longer to get a Ph.D. in the humanities than it does in the social or natural sciences (although those fields also have longer times-to-degree than they once did) seems anomalous, since normally a dissertation in the humanities does not require extensive archival, field, or laboratory work. William Bowen and Neil Rudenstine, in their landmark study In Pursuit of the Ph.D., suggested that one reason for this might be that the paradigms for scholarship in the humanities have become less clear. People are uncertain just what research in the humanities is supposed to constitute, and graduate students therefore spend an inordinate amount of time trying to come up with a novel theoretical twist on canonical texts or an unusual contextualization. Inquiry in the humanities has become quite eclectic without becoming contentious. This makes it a challenge for entering scholars to know where to make their mark.

This is why I am now thinking of law school instead of a Classics Ph.D. Well, that, and the fact that I think I can’t really handle that much more of this stuff. I go through these jags every once in a while, especially with the Latin proficiency exams coming next week.

6 Notes

I swear to God by the time I am finished with this program

  • I will not be able to look at anything over 700 years old without throwing up
  • I will not be able to see or hear any Greek or Latin without wanting to self-harm
  • I will have developed a debilitating drinking habit
  • I will have become extremely good at hiding said d.d.h.
  • I will have taught myself how to cook exactly four recipes, but absolutely nothing else
  • I will have learned to open beer bottles with my teeth
  • I will have looked upon teaching high school as a realistic goal
  • I will have tried to measure my self-worth by the number of Oxford Classical Texts I own
  • I will have fallen asleep one evening and woken up the next morning inside the Classics seminar room drooling on a Loeb
  • I will have considered the previous item a win

3 Notes

More ways with which grad school is eating my brain/life

My translation work is taking up so much of my brainpower that my mind can’t handle listening to more than one song multiple times in a row.

Which means I’ve been listening to Better than Heaven for about two hours straight now, while reading Lucian’s essay about how he chose the path of Education and Culture over Sculpture and Industry. In a dream, Sculpture (represented as a manly, dusty, calloused woman) tells Lucian ‘you can make money if you come with me, and you’ll be famous not only for mere words but for your magnificent work.’

Meanwhile I’m sitting here in the library reading Greek from the Second Sophistic period, surrounded by the by-products of Culture/Education, and thinking, ‘shit, I should have gone with Sculpture.’

(Also particularly apt, Better than Heaven’s chorus goes You get sadder/the smarter you get/and it’s a bore.)

2 Notes

This is what writing by committee looks like.

Pictured: the entire department tearing my personal statement apart.

This is what writing by committee looks like.

Pictured: the entire department tearing my personal statement apart.

Notes

Writing by committee

sucks.

Also, you get about five different colors of comments in the margins.

Notes

Higher Education™ renders one unusable

This ‘being a rising senior’ business gets really, really annoying sometimes. Now I’m thinking about post-undergraduate options and, quite often, wondering if doing Classics was such a good idea after all, seeing as it has narrowed my options to

a) grad school, leading to academia b) teaching high schoolers c) penury

I had better get into a good grad school.

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