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καὶ τέλος κατὰ τοῦ τέγους ἁλόμενος διέφυγε, ῥαφανῖδι τὴν πυγὴν βεβυσμένος.

‘And finally he fled, jumping down from the roof, with a radish stuck up his butt.’

Lucian, The Death of Peregrinus, AKA the gift that keeps on giving.

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    Harry Mount, Carpe Diem: How to Become
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